Monday, March 18, 2013

What's Wrong With History Channel's "The Bible" Episode 3

Oh - I have an idea! - let's take some Bible characters and Bible stories - and make up our own versions of them! Let's change it up a bit. I think we can improve on some of the characters and stories. People won't know the difference anyway. We can make a really popular TV show, have some nice music in the background, and some really good special effects, and people will love it. We can draw a big audience because all the Bible believers will tune in. Do you realize how many advertisers we could get?

People won't care if we add some drama to the stories to make them more real-life. And there are so many wars and killings in the Old Testament, we can really get this to be graphic and violent - that's what people go for. Blood and guts! 

No one cares if we take a little liberty with the Bible. What harm can it do? After all, how many will check the Bible out anyway to see if our version is accurate? Maybe our show at least can be the only Bible people get to know. And isn't that good even if it's not so accurate? Does God really care about accuracy of His Word as long as we get the big picture? 

This would make some good drama! Remember Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, and Daniel, the one who could interpret dreams? This would be a good story - maybe change it up a bit. Nobody's going to read the book of Daniel Chapter 2 anyway. In the Bible, Daniel interprets a dream of Nebuchadnezzar, telling him that after his kingdom, there will be others with God ultimately setting up a kingdom that will never be destroyed. Then King Nebuchadnezzar falls prostrate before Daniel and pays him honor, and then declares that Daniel's God is the "God of gods and the Lord of kings." (Daniel 2:46-47) 

Wait a minute. I've got a better idea. Nobody wants to hear how King Nebuchadnezzar humbles himself, falls prostrate before Daniel, and acknowledges God. Nobody wants to hear how God can change hearts and change lives. Instead, in our show, let's make King Nebuchadnezzar really mad at Daniel and storm out of the scene. That would be much better for TV, don't you think?

Daniel and the Lion's Den
This could really be good with some doctoring. Everybody has heard of this story. Maybe the ending could be better. First of all, let's leave out the part that King Darius was tricked into making an irreversible decree that for 30 days, no one could worship any other gods except King Darius himself. And that he was deeply troubled when he realized that Daniel would be killed. King Darius even tried to think of a way to save Daniel! (Daniel 6:14). Actually, not bad drama, but that's too mushy. It makes the king look too soft. That doesn't make good TV.

Everybody is more interested in seeing ferocious lions and a scared Daniel. And when God spares Daniel's life, and the king comes to find him unharmed, let's not show King Darius' real response - how he decreed that "Everyone throughout my kingdom should tremble with fear before the God of Daniel. For he is the living God, and he will endure forever. His kingdom will never be destroyed, and his rule will never end. He rescues and saves his people; he performs miraculous signs and wonders in the heavens and on earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions.” (Daniel 6:26-27). 

The king's real response focuses too much on God. And too much on how the king exalted God. And how he was so overjoyed in seeing Daniel alive. Instead, let's just leave out the king's mention of God. What are we after here, anyway? How about we end the scene showing King Darius just being mad at the ones who falsely accused Daniel in the first place, throwing them in the with the lions. Now doesn't that make better drama? Doesn't that make the king much more macho? Actually, let's change that up - let's have the king throwing just one false accuser in with the lions instead of several. Who cares anyway? 

The Birth Of Jesus
Enough Old Testament. How about we skip to the New Testament. The angel's message to Mary, the mother of Jesus, is a great scene. In the Bible, it lacks a little drama though. How about we do this...let's create a scene in Nazareth where there is a lot of fighting and a lot of violence (what people love), and the angel comes to Mary in the midst of all this. Ya - that would be good. And then, how about when Joseph and Mary get to the manger scene in Bethlehem. It's a little too drab in the Bible. Let's add some heavy rain, and let's add some people to the scene. How about adding a mid-wife to deliver baby Jesus? That would be more realistic, wouldn't it? Who cares anyway, if that's really what it was like or not? This is a TV show for Pete's sake!

We can't leave the Wise Men out of our show, can we? Let's just make up our own timeline, twist everything around for dramatic effect, have the Wise Men come to the manger. Nobody cares about what the Bible says anyway. (See my previous post: "The Wise Men: How It Really Went Down")

The Baptism of Jesus
O, and how about the baptism of Jesus? That's pretty dramatic. Let's leave that in. But no need to show the Holy Spirit coming down on Him, descending like a dove. And no need to mention that God the Father actually talks from heaven saying, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.” (Matthew 3:16-17) It's not that important and nobody would believe it anyway. 

Peter's First Encounter With Jesus
I know - let's just combine a whole bunch of scenes into one here. Forget the Bible's version of how Peter is called by Jesus to be a disciple. Let's just show Jesus approaching Peter's boat - no, how about Jesus wading in the water to Peter's boat - Peter pulling him in and then, how about we have Jesus miraculously helping Peter pull in a big catch of fish. Sounds good to me. Let's just make sure we end the scene with Jesus talking about "fishers of men". Everyone will love it!

There are so many more enhancements and changes to make! Maybe the next time we do the show, we can just make up some different versions of the stories. Who cares anyway?

"And I solemnly declare to everyone who hears the words of prophecy written in this book: If anyone adds anything to what is written here, God will add to that person the plagues described in this book. And if anyone removes any of the words from this book of prophecy, God will remove that person’s share in the tree of life and in the holy city that are described in this book." (Revelation 22:18-19)


  1. Hey just one more thought: Episode 3 put the lion's den during the time of Cyrus, not Darius. There is just no good reason for that.

  2. One of the biggest things that annoys me is the 3 (not even to mention, were there three or a whole convoy of men?) wise men NOT being in the manger scene. I watched this with my sister and her 2 boys and I said, "Please don't let the wise men come to the manger." Tsk tsk. Disappointed.

    PLUS, Goliath actually falls foward in the Bible and not backwards after being struck with the stone.

    AND, God shut the lion's mouths.

    Wish it followed the Bible to the T.

    1. the wise men at the manger always drives me crazy too - ha